Now I don't know how many of you know this, but cops are huge practical jokers. Especially on each other, firefighters, and medic/emt crews. There is nothing like a little fresh Land Shark (K9) shit under your buddies door handles to start an all out war. And you folks thought latex gloves were just for medical reasons.

Ever seen a bunch of off duty cops following the K9 around waiting for him to shit, so a,... uhhhh,... specimen can be collected? It's also good stuff if your buddy is going on vacation. You just leave an open baggy of dog shit under the drivers seat of his prowl. This works particularly well in the summer time. Roadkill is even better. *GAG* Granted not all departments have "drive home" cruisers, but if you do,... watch out. If you have to get back at the K9 officer, just feed the dog a bunch of slimjims or even better 3 or 4 Taco Hell, Chili Cheese Burritos. Takes about five or six hours but the stink is phenomenal.

The old frozen can of shaving cream does not,... I REPEAT does not work as advertised. However spraying pepper spray into the heating/ac vents of your buddy's car is great, especially in winter. As soon as the heat gets turned on high it's teary eye time.

A little KY Jelly under the windshield wipers goes a long way. Especially the first time they try to run the wipers. Works especially well in conjunctions with really buggy summer nights in the country, like a County Police or full service Sheriff's Department.

My two all time favorites where on a guy named Dave. He never, ever checked his cruiser out before going to work. We plastered the entire passenger side of his prowl with playboy, hustler, and penthouse centerfolds. A little rubber cement, 20-30 dirty pictures, and 20 minutes of work. He couldn't figure out why he was getting honked at all night. A few weeks after the proverbial shit hit the fan and finally died down Plan B went into action.

Dave finally quit inspecting his cruiser on a daily basis, so it was time to strike again. We ran Wheelen brand light bars, with all the antennas mounted just behind them. We decided to add an antenna to his car. For less than 50 bucks we purchased a huge, suction cup mounted rubber dong at the local sex toy store. Just imagine this 10 inch dong (that was easily 6-7 inches around) stuck to the top of his prowl, waving in the wind. Now imagine it bouncing and gyrating madly every time he stopped.

What fun,

Gravel