The Most Functional Word

Well, it’s shit... that’s right, shit!

Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider:

You can get shit-faced, Be shit out of luck, or have shit for

brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together, Find a place

for

your shit, Or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit,

buy shit,

sell shit,

lose shit,

find shit,

forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can’t tell the difference

between Shit and Shineola.

There are lucky shits,

dumb shit,

crazy shits,

There is bull shit,

horse shit and

chicken shit...

You can throw shit,

sling shit,

catch shit,

shoot the shit,

or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give shit or

serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,

and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there

are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit,

not enough shit,

the right shit,

the wrong shit or

a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit,

have a mountain of shit,

or find yourself up shit’s creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times

you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose!

When you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic building

block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don’t need to

know anything else!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit.

Or not do so, If you don’t give a shit.

Well, Shit, it’s time for me to go. Just wanted you to know

that I Give A Shit and hope you have a nice day, without a

bunch of shit.

But if you happened to catch a load of shit from some

shithead, well...shit happens!



P.S. I’m guessing that the original author is probably not a

religious person because he makes no reference to the

existence of “Holy Shit”!